I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
