you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you would pick up someone in the library
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
