The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
