fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
