I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
