Betty ford says i'm here all night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
