she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
