At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
