when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
