your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
