My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
