did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
