Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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