So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
