he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
