she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
