Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I understand Curling. That high.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
