I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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