Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
