I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
