Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
