Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
