I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
