no, he came in my armpit
Its about making memories worth repressing
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
