It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
