This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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