Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
