Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
