I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
