Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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