One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You made out with two different species that night
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
