Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
