Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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