CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
