woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
