therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
the raccoons are back...
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