I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize