If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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