She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
