Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
