just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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