It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
