I think my vagina is haunted
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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