help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
