dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
