I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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