I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
