me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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