Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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