we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
