Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize