I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
