Soap is not a condiment
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
