Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
