That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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