remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
