I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Terrible idea I love it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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