sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
