where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
