I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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