first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
