That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
